Single, Outside, and Whole

There’s a certain kind of silence that often blankets warm summer nights—the kind that settles just after an event or dinner ends and you're walking yourself to your car. Maybe there were couples laughing at nearby tables, partners sharing cocktails, families corralling sticky-fingered children—and you, there too, feeling full and somehow a little lonely.

But what if this summer wasn’t measured by your proximity to partnership?

What if it wasn’t about putting yourself in places to meet someone, but placing yourself in spaces where you feel most you?

Sometimes I get asked, “how can therapy help my dating life beyond tips and tricks?” I remind my clients that we are not the problem—the problem is the problem. And often, the problem shows up to a wonderful night out dressed up as expectation. “You should be dating.” “You should be putting yourself out there.” “You should be trying harder.” These shoulds come from stories we’ve absorbed, not ones we've authored ourselves.

So what if this summer, we wrote a different story huh?

Not the romantic comedy kind, not the “hot girl/boy/person summer” marketing script, but a quieter, wilder, more honest kind of story.

One where your joy doesn’t need to be validated by coupledom or relationship goals.

Where your time outdoors isn’t a stage set for a love story, but a sanctuary for your soul. Deep, I know but follow me here.

Let the sunshine kiss your forehead or shoulders not as a reward for “getting out there,” but as a reminder that you belong here—on this Earth, in this body, at this moment.

Sit at the park with a book—not as a placeholder until someone joins you, but as a declaration: I am enough company for myself today.

Take yourself to a farmer’s market not as practice for future couple routines or in hopes to meet a beautiful stranger next to the greens, but because the colors, the smells, the ritual of choosing fresh fruit makes your body exhale in glee.

Go on hikes, not to be able to list “active partner” on a dating profile, but because nature reminds you how expansive your life already is and how much breath your lungs actually need.

Let your summer be full of people who already know and love you—friends who pour wine and truths in equal measure, chosen family who grill and push you to exercise through the electric slide and smile with their full faces. Let those be the arms you fall into.

And on the nights when loneliness does tap your shoulder for a dance, don’t shame it—listen to it. Ask it what it misses, what it needs, what stories it’s still believing. You might find it’s not asking for a partner, but for presence. For peace. For purpose.

Your life is not on pause. It’s not a prologue. You are not incomplete. You are not waiting. You are living. You are becoming. You are home to yourself.

So be outside this summer—not to find “your person,” but to remember you are your person too.

And that is a love story worth writing.

If this reflection speaks to a part of you that’s felt unseen or pressured to “hurry up and find someone,” therapy can be a space to gently unravel those narratives.

Together, we can explore what it means to live from a place of enoughness—right now, as you are.

Disclaimer:

The content provided on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared here does not constitute a therapeutic relationship and should not be relied upon as mental health treatment.

Although the author is a licensed mental health professional in the state of Georgia, the content is general in nature and may not be applicable to your individual circumstances. Always seek the advice of a qualified mental health provider or other medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a mental health condition.

To protect the confidentiality of those served, any client narratives or case examples shared on this blog are composites drawn from multiple experiences and are not representative of any one individual.

If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also contact the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 for free and confidential support, available 24/7.